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Local Man Accused of Reaching into the Cookie Jar

Man claims, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Last Updated August 27, 2019

A local Sweetarian was accused of the henious crime of cookie theft at 5:13 PM yesterday. Witnesses claim to have seen a man sneak into the city's government bank through an open window on the third story floor, and after a period of 10 minutes, this same man was seen walking out the front door with a suspicious-looking burlap sack over his right shoulder. Authorities were notified of the strange sight and detained him shortly after.

The man, later confirmed to be Paul Bart of Milky Way County, claims to have been, ...making a delivery to my uncle's uncle's brother's son-in-law. The front door was closed, so I was just going to leave, but then I noticed a window open at the side of the building. After deliberating for a while I went in through there, made my way down to the second floor, and delivered my uncle's uncle's brother's son-in-law his wedding gift (which my uncle forgot to give him earlier). He then attempted to give me a sack, stating it was payment for the delivery. I tried to refuse, but he wouldn't budge, so I just took it and left. After all, this wasn't A Lesson Before Dying or something; it seemed unlikely I would be accused of theft over just accepting a bag full of cookies.

Police are currently attempting to verify the validity of Mr. Bart's claim. When Officer Banks was asked about the state of the investigation, he had this to say: It is going a little slow right now. The issue is really the confusing circumstances under which Mr. Bart found his friend. He claims to have no idea what the man's name is, where he specifically works in the office, or know of any way to contact him. I have a feeling this is going to be a long case.

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